About you
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New mums
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Research by the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) shows that 50% of new mothers struggle with mental ill health or emotional difficulties in pregnancy or the first year.
Every woman's experience is personal, but common issues include:
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traumatic childbirth
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changes in identity, relationships, body and lifestyle
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low confidence, depression, anxiety, anger, stress, isolation
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unfinished business or repeating patterns from your own childhood
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facing additional major life events and decisions, such as a bereavement or moving house
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struggling with cultural and systemic aspects of motherhood (for example lack of support for parents, the toxic and pervasive myth of the perfect mum, taboo against ambivalent feelings, low/no financial value given to care work, the overwhelm of parenting in the information age)
Becoming a mother involves a breaking down of your old life and building a new one. It is a creative process that includes mourning for lost parts and usually a lot of confusion and uncertainty. The transition (matrescence) is enormous and different for each woman.
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My clients are resilient and capable women who have often overcome difficult childhoods or other stressful life events. Motherhood can make us feel more wobbly than we have in years. Raising babies and children is relentless, triggering and time for self-care is limited. I want to take the shame out of this and be there for you.
For the first few months you can bring your baby to your counselling sessions.
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Pregnant, trying for a baby, baby loss
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We talk about your life so far and focus on issues you would like to work on before your baby arrives. We explore your concerns and difficulties, and the personal strengths and experience that you bring to your new job of mothering. We work towards you feeling as best prepared as possible. Some clients like to cue me up as continuity of support for the postpartum period. We meet for some sessions in pregnancy, then have weekly/fortnightly/monthly or adhoc sessions 'on the other side'.
You may want support because you are having a difficult pregnancy, or difficulties with conception or adoption.
I have training and experience in supporting clients following baby loss, including subsequent pregnancies.
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Veteran mums
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No sooner have you found your balance then something else changes! You may be struggling to balance competing demands (relationships, work, home, multiple children, self-care), finding that one or more area is suffering. You may be overwhelmed and experiencing burn out. I meet a lot of women who are holding everything together but feel lost. There can be a lot of private shame, guilt and rage about finding our children, and our role as mothers, difficult.
We can talk about anything (some clients don't even mention their children much). Whatever you'd like counselling for it can be helpful to meet with a counsellor who understands that a huge part of your life is motherhood, and that your problems and dilemmas happen in that context.
Dads?
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My special interest is in motherhood, but I know that fatherhood can be very challenging too, and that there are lots of different types of family. I have a few spaces for general counselling and welcome any dads or others who feel drawn to working with me.
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